The lead singer of Inexcusably bad ska band ‘Be Best!‘ Donald Trump declared a national emergency Thursday after seeing the band’s latest record sales numbers.
“Folks, ‘Be Best!’, have you heard about ‘Be Best!’? Have you heard about this?! We are obviously the most amazing band in the history of ever, THAT I can tell you. The Liberal Media obviously has a Deep State campaign to hold this amazing, it’s amazing folks, you wouldn’t believe it, band back to further their communist agenda to turn the USA… “
[Upon hearing ‘USA’ the crowd of sleeping fucktards springs to life ‘USA! USA! USA!’]
“There are my retar… errr PEOPLE! God I love stupid people! I can call you stupid right to your face and you’ll just take it right you fucking dummies?!
[‘Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!’]
“You know folks, MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING, that Crooked Hillary has even taken time away from running her child pizzeria sex ring to destroy what is quite frankly the most incredible band in history. She is hell bent on stopping our album ‘Wall of SKA!’ from going Double Trumpium! That’s right folks Trumpium! My people tell me that’s the metal produced when you take moldy cheese, dog shit, and tin, put it in a used diaper, and scream lies at it. It’s IN-CRED-I-BLE, folks, it’s just incredible.”
The Controversial Formula for ‘Trumpium’
“86% of the people in some survey I think I heard about said we were WAY better than The Beatles, and 58% said the Beatles couldn’t even hold my sausage guitar! That’s 189% of people that love, LOVE FOLKS, ‘Be Best!’ ”
Trump went on the say that each taxpayer would be required to purchase a copy of his terrible, terrible album ‘Wall of SKA’ to ‘avoid becoming Venezuela’.
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