Point! Counterpoint! I’m a Squinty Eyed Little Bitch! vs. I’m a Giant Foreheaded Fuck Bag!

I’m a Squinty Eyed Little Bitch!

11390198_10204111370575812_2479765574337331077_nAndy ‘Takes it in the’ Enderson* – Squinty Eyed Little Bitch

Listen idiots, I am one Squinty Eyed Little Bitch! When I’m not crying my squinty little eyes out about Esquire articles and how unfair they are to my hero Cheeto Hitler, you can be sure to find me crying like a little bitch about how there aren’t enough articles about socks!

14947726_10207237984579208_6826566659726834766_nGod I’m Such a Stupid Squinty Eyed Cunt 

When I’m not making man on man Mormon porn (which honestly is not much of the time lol!) you can be sure to find me jerking off into a Trump t-shirt with some pissed off eagle on it or something because ‘Murica!! Gotta go, Jebus just told me to change my religion listed on Facebook to ‘On My Knees to Please’ Yes Jebus! I’m ‘Coming’!

I’m a Giant Foreheaded Fuck Bag!

21328_10203754697619211_8703693113480591989_nPlease Donate to the GiantForeheadFuckbagitis Foundation!

Living with a stupid giant forehead isn’t easy you know. Sure it’s great for catching loads and loads of Mormon man goo in my many many films making it way easier to scrape off and gobble down, but it was not an easy childhood! Growing up with my family of 28 kids along with my dad and his 8 wives I dreaded dad yelling out those accursed words: Movie Night! he would yell and that would be the cue for whoever was closest to me to secure me against the nearest tree so that they could screen some horseshit about Joseph Smith on my huge forehead. That’s how I got to be such a squinty little bitch!


Thanks E-Harmony Giant Forehead Division!

Luckily I found out about E-Harmony’s Giant Forehead section so I could finally meet another giant foreheaded idiot and start pumping out giant foreheaded idiot kids! I’d love to stay and chat some more but this huge forehead isn’t going to jizz all over itself! Byyyyyeeeeeeeee!

*Names changed to protect giant foreheaded squinty eyed little cunts