I love huge loads of NBA cum down my throat, in my face and dripping off my nose! I’m a disgusting fucking pig! I sure hope I get cancer! I sure hope no one on facebook tracks me down and caves in my fat stupid head with a bat! Fingers crossed!
“Uh! Uh! Uh! Aaaaaaaggghhhh!!!” ~ Boyfriend Of Area Fucking Cunt While Blowing Copious Loads into the Chin Cum Catcher
“Look, I need this cum catcher beard to catch all the cum I can get!” said the stupid fucking cunt. I don’t have a lot of time because my church makes us all fuck at least 8 little boys a week! I’m always Church Idiot Believer of the Month because no little boy is safe when I’m around!
*Names changed to protect a redneck fucking cunt
Hey everyone! My name is Smurtis Schmesly and I am a stupid redneck fucking cunt! I just wanted to come out of the closet and say that not only do I LOVE man ass but i REALLY LOVE little boy ass!! Woohoo! C’mere you, get them clothes off boy!
Boy I’ll tell you what! I sure am a stupid motherfucker! When I’m not eating paint chips I’m eating giant cocks! And when I’m not pumping little boys full of spooge, I’m wrapping this piece of shit Chihuahua in duct tape and goin to town! Hoo wee!
Uh! Uh! Uh! Aaaaaaaggghhhh!!!
Hello Ladies! Meet part time woman beater and full time fucking asshole, super duper dream boat Erik Leon Wright! Feel free to peruse his various charges below including everything from illegal weapons possession to laying a good old fashioned beat down on defenseless women. Pregnant women.
He looks nothing like the stupid douche bag you would imagine! Oh. Wait. Never mind.
PS. Erik, you and your tiny, tiny dick and balls can fuck right off you little bitch! Haha!!!
Here are some of the things that Erik likes to send to women he’s never met! Things like ‘Can I show you my tiny dick and balls?’ and ‘Have you ever been with a roided out loser with pansy pussy tattoos and a micro-penis?’
Now listen here you liberal butt heads! I love me some ‘Murica! The land where a stupid, bald loser with a pussy ass single engine piece of shit can get some little boy ass! Woooo!! Hopefully I’ll have the opportunity to get some hot little boy action goin on! er… never mind! Woooo!
Look, writin aint my favoritest thing but it seems I got some time on my hands seein as I been locked up in a jail cell that the commie police threw me in. I thought this was ‘Murica! Apparently it’s now ‘illegal’ to kidnap the next door neighbor’s 8 year old kid and play oiled up naked twister with him in my Cessna Shitbucket 3000. Thanks Obama!
Now listen here you liberal butt heads! I love me some ‘Murica! The land where a fat, stupid, hairy loser with DD cup man tits has opportunity. Hopefully the opportunity to get some hot lady boy action goin on! er… never mind! C’mon ladies, I ain’t squeezin these hairy fun bags together for nuthin! You know yer just achin to get these $6 mom jeans off me and get all up in my whopping one inch fun palace! Woooo!
Look, writin aint my favoritest thing but it seems I got some time on my hands seein as I been locked up in a jail cell that the commie police threw me in. I thought this was ‘Murica! Apparently it’s now ‘illegal’ to kidnap the next door neighbor’s 8 year old kid and play oiled up naked twister with him in my basement dungeon. Thanks Obama!
Looks like in the future I’ll have to keep my ‘fun’ to the Candy Van he he. Although those commie bastard POlice did seem pretty interested in it when they hauled me away. Using their big book learnin words like ‘DMA testing’ whatever the hell that is, and ‘get the camaver dogs’. I aint never heard of no ‘camaver dogs’. Say, do they like peanut butter?!
I just met with the free lawyer. He was wearing last years mom jeans! What a loser! Anyway he said he might be able to get me off so I took out my tiny, mangled penis and he freaked and ran out screaming. He came back 10 minutes later saying something about the nightmares and never being the same. Anyway he said cus I’m ‘half fucktarded’ they might send me to a hospital instead of jail! I sure hope he’s right because I’ve been hoping they can chop off my head and sew it to my hip so I can blow myself all day! I even made a picture for the surgeons to help them!
I showed it to my lawyer and he said that it was pathetically exaggerated, and that they would actually have to sew my head directly to my crotch face first or my dick would never reach! Oh well, it looks like the men are here to take me away, I sure hope they have camaver dogs and peanut butter!
Dr. James P. Mcgillicuddy, Plastic Surgeon
Seriously bitch, get some surgery! Where to fucking start… that’s coincidentally exactly what I, your plastic surgeon, said when I first looked at your stupid moon face. What’s with your gums you horse mouthed nag? Every time I look at you I start glancing around for sugar cubes or an apple to jam in your gob. Well, it looks like we’re also going to need a chin implant the size of a rat trap. I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that to make your giant fivehead look half normal we will have to cut a poncho-esque swath of skin from the middle of it and pull the pieces together like a suitcase that won’t quite close. The good news is that we will have enough skin leftover to tan and make you a nice jacket and handbag. Now get that mask over your face you fugly hog!
William ‘BoBo’ Stiklystapers
*BONG!* Whooooaaaa there missy! Holy shit! Stop hittin’ yerself in the face with that there asphalt covered shovel! My lord, yer face is already a gosh darn bowl of dog vomit without you helpin’ out none! Why look at that there forehead on ye! Stay right there, I’m gonna go get Roscoe and Jeb and we’s gonna show a drive in movie on that bad boy! Hoooooweee! Ya know what, ferget it, the glare off ur retard gums would ruin it for everyone anyhows! *BONG!* I said quit that shovel face poundin ya crazy sow! Is that why ye gots no chin no more? Hey yew kinda look like ma sister! she ain’t no looker neither but I always had the hots for her. C’mere yooooouuuuu!! *BONG!* Holy shit! Yer dentin ma shovel!!